We were going to create the Ultimate Panama City Beach Spring Break 2013 Zombie Survival Guide – Aimed at giving you an unfair advantage of the hordes of brain-hungry undead…
It was gonna be full of great tips like: Blades Beat Guns – they don’t need reloading etc.
But the more we thought about it, we realized it would never happen. Not in Panama City Beach, and especially not during Spring Break…
Here’s why Panama City Beach Spring Break 2013 is possibly the safest time and place to survive Z-Day.
10. You’ve Never Seen It Before…
Panama City Beach, Florida is home to the World’s most beautiful beaches. When was the last time you saw a zombie movie where the undead were just taking it easy on the beach, with a tropical cocktail, rocking out to their iPod in a hammock? You didn’t. It never happens. Everyone knows that zombies prefer downtown urban city spaces, isolated countryside, or pretty much anywhere in Eastern Europe.
Panama City Beach’s bar and club scene is ALIVE during Spring Break. With LOTS of awesome bars and night clubs (like the Tiki Bar, La Vela, Spinnakers etc.) Lucky for you, zombies have a pretty strict diet of brains. So anywhere offering 2-for-1 Jäger shots, Free Tiki Punch, or bottomless beer isn’t even gonna be on their radar.
08. (Almost) Everybody Loves the Sunshine…
Panama City Beach is also famous for having an average of 320 days of sunshine per year. This is also pretty handy, since Zombies dig the dark… Maybe they are sensitive about all their torn, raggedy clothes – Whatever the reason, with all that glorious sunshine, Panama City Beach isn’t likely to be on their hit-list any time soon.
07. Soft Sand > Zombie Balance.
For some reason Zombies have horrible balance. Have you ever tried running in the soft sand in Panama City Beach? It takes enough concentration when you don’t have balance issues (i.e sober) Zombies would be completely useless!
06. Slippery Nipples.
In any “normal” zombie apocalypse situation (whatever that is), it’s all about tight fitting clothes and short hair for the win… However, if you’re on Spring Break 2013 in Panama City Beach (and you’re doing it right) then you’re wearing a bikini or board shorts. So you’re already taking your Zombie safety to the next level… Plus, your skin will be probably nice and slippery from all the sunscreen – making for the perfect escape opportunity. That’s another (unexpected) benefit of wearing your sunscreen on the beach!
There’s more to come… So stay tuned for Part 2… With even more reasons Panama City Beach Spring Break 2013 is possibly the safest place to be on Earth during the Zombie Apocalypse!